Transforming Tragedy into Hope: Carey Conley's Journey to Empowerment and Purpose

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Finding purpose through despair and tragedy is no easy feat, but our guest, life coach author and public speaker Carey Conley, has managed to do just that. After experiencing the heart-wrenching loss of both her husband and son to suicide, Carey transformed her anguish into hope. Together, we explore the challenges of entrepreneurship, the necessity of an anchor of hope, and the power of spiritual connections.

Carey opens up about her incredible journey through success as an entrepreneur,  her transition to coaching, and her passion for teaching others about the importance of having a written vision. We discuss the significance of self-care and healing, as well as the extraordinary spiritual connection she shares with her son even after his passing. Carey's candid accounts of her own grieving process inspire us to be resilient in the face of adversity.

Important links...
Carey's FREE e- book: Vision is Victory
Support & resource group: Helping Parent's Heal

Other Books Mentioned in this Episode...
Keep Looking Up by Carey Conley & Laurel Wilson
Signs by Laura Lynne Jackson
Bridges to Heaven by Sue Frederick

Carey's Podcast: Moving Through & Beyond 

Find Carey online...
CareyConley.com
Carey's Instagram
Carey's Facebook
Carey's LinkedIn

As always, thank you for listening to We All Have Something.  If you wish to connect with Rick beyond the podcast:
Website: www.CoachRickSchwartz.com
YouTube: @RickSchwartz
Instagram: @Coach_Rick_Schwartz
Facebook Page:  @CoachRickSchwartz
TikTok: @Coach_Rick_Schwartz

***If you are having any thoughts of self harm and need someone to reach out to please call: 1-800-273- TALK (8255)
Or use the new 988 number for calling or texting for support.


Episode Music "Inspiration Corporate" by Sandra Inspiration Music
Music rights purchased through AudioJungle.

Nothing in this podcast should be taken as therapy, medical or mental health care. Topics discussed on this podcast reflect the personal experiences of the host and guests of We All Have Something and are not intended to, nor should they, replace the services of medical care, mental health care or therapy.

If you are having thoughts of self harm or ending your life, please call or text 988 - Help is available 24/7.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:22

There's a quote that I love, and I never get this completely right, but you'll get the gist of it. It's by Andy Stanley, okay, and it is write your vision in pen, but your path in pencil, and what he means by that is that I am very clear that my vision is my God given purpose, so that has not changed. Even with all the things in my life changing in a direction that I never saw coming, my vision has just been inked in.

Speaker 2: 0:50

I'm Rick Schwartz, life coach, public speaker and all around curious guy. My curiosity, my life and the lives of the many people I have worked with have taught me time and time again that there are challenges to overcome and successes to celebrate. You're listening to We All Have Something, a podcast about the human experience, a podcast about celebrating our authentic self. So let's get started. Welcome to another episode of We All Have Something a listener supported podcast. If you would like to be a supporting listener, all you got to do is go to the episode notes, very first link at the very top there, click on that and get started And as a thank you, of course, you'll receive an email, even some cool stickers in the mail from me, and while there's all sorts of perks to becoming a supporter and of course, our supporters allow us to keep this ad free, and I know you're going to be very happy that this episode is ad free. We have a very special guest and I'll tell you what.

Speaker 2: 1:48

Carrie Conley is someone I met through my work with Oula. We both do much more than that and Carrie has been through so much and has done so much. I was really excited to get her on the podcast and you'll listen as we go through this. This isn't just about coaching. It's not just about impacting others around the world. We talk. the conversation goes a lot of different directions. Stick with it. It's really interesting, it's really cool, and I really appreciate the honesty and just openness that Carrie offered through this conversation.

Speaker 2: 2:18

Now Carrie has had a flourishing business career which has taken her all around the world, you know. Unfortunately, tragedy struck and everything changed. She lost her husband, ross, in 2014 and just three years later, she lost her son, cole, at age 26, both to suicide. After these devastating losses, she was faced with a choice to find purpose through despair or throw in the towel, and, thankfully for all of us, she chose purpose. While she has enjoyed her business prior to losing Ross and Cole, she knew that the next chapter was calling her to rise to a new level that would have an impact on more people on a larger scale. She wants to help those who feel lost in this world without a purpose, and Carrie helps people create a crystal clear written vision for every area of their life, so they take action every day toward living their purpose. Carrie has found it's the purpose that gives people hope.

Speaker 2: 3:14

Carrie is an author and a speaker And when she's not traveling, sharing her experiences and wisdom, you can find her hosting her own podcast, moving Through and Beyond, a podcast dedicated to sharing stories of raw, honest hardships in life and how you can overcome these obstacles to live your best life. Carrie, i want to thank you so much for taking the time to be on We All Have Something and for agreeing to share your story with the listening audience. I know in the interaction we covered some of what you have been through and everything you're doing now, but I'd love to hear it from you. Would you be so kind as to share your story with us and the lessons you have learned along the way?

Speaker 1: 3:50

Yeah Well, thank you first of all for having me on, Rick. We've been looking forward to this, So um, I'm glad that we're finally making this happen.

Speaker 2: 3:57

Me too, me too.

Speaker 1: 3:58

Um, you know, I have to kind of go back many, many years ago, to when I was about 28 years old to kind of give you the full circle. Um, at that point this was the late 80s My husband and I had been out of college for a year or two, both doing the nine to five thing, because that's what we're taught to do, and my husband was very successful with that, and I did not do that nine to five thing very well. So I had a mentor come into my life, tell me something I'd never heard before, and what she told me was I could create my life to look like however I wanted it to look. I just need to get super clear on what that was. And so I took a day off of work with a legal pad of paper because you know, this was the 80s Uh, i sat down and wrote out in great detail what I wanted my life to look like, what kind of uh mom I wanted to be when we started having kids, the relationship I wanted to have with my husband.

Speaker 1: 4:47

And then I started noodling a bunch of ideas around how I could work from home once we started having the kids, um, and work around their schedule, had that kind of freedom Uh, makes, make a great income and all the things And so fast forward had had. My son was still working full time and I was pregnant with my daughter when I got introduced to, um, the first company that I went into, which is a company called Arbonne, which most people are familiar with, and that's what I did while I was raising my kids. And the one thing I had to do as a leader in that company is I had to teach uh other people to get really, really clear on their why, right out their vision, really big Greg, because I knew that if they didn't have that as an anchor, all the things we go through as entrepreneurs is hard and I knew they were gonna quit if they didn't have this really strong vision. Right.

Speaker 2: 5:34

Right.

Speaker 1: 5:36

So 10 years ago, when my kids were leaving the house we were becoming empty nesters is when I created um. My curriculum around it called vision is victory, so I started teaching the public how to get their someday plan out of their head and onto paper. Um, and that worked. And so I started getting asked to coach people. So I started bringing people into coaching, and then I ended up running four year long mastermind groups all at once. For a while, uh started getting asked to speak. You know all the things. That's where it's brought me to today.

Speaker 1: 6:06

So unfortunately, though, in the past almost nine years now, uh lost my husband in 2014 to suicide And then, three years later, lost my 26 year old son, also to suicide.

Speaker 1: 6:19

Um, so at that point, my daughter was just getting out of college and she and I decided to co-write a book together in 2019 called keep looking up, and so we started very publicly sharing our story and started speaking together, and so now, when I speak about vision and the importance of having one, and having it in writing, i'm really, really focused now on this being an anchor of hope for people. I'm super focused on young adults right now. Like they've got their my, i, my, i. They're on my radar big time right now, um, because it's no surprise what's happening in their world. Um, you know it's challenging enough. When you and I came out of school and you know, in our 20s, whatever it was tough, but now it's just nuts, um. So that's where I'm at right now, um, very, very passionate about vision. I just know there's a deeper purpose behind it than teaching people how to run a business with it.

Speaker 2: 7:15

Yeah, and I want to. I want to, if you don't mind, i want to go back and pick apart your story to get a better understanding. I want to. I want to be able to put some contrast on everything you have accomplished and survived and been through, because that's a lot obviously. I mean, i don't need to tell you that and you know that and you share that and you and your daughter share that with the world. And I want to step back first to the building up and ramping up of of the the why. Yeah, creating your businesses, uh, becoming, uh, someone people are going to say Hey, can you, coach, can you come speak That process for you? was that part of your? why, or was that more of an organic growth thing? Why, or was that more of an organic growth that took on its own?

Speaker 1: 8:00

Being out speaking.

Speaker 2: 8:02

Yeah, out speaking and coaching and all of that. Obviously, you wanted to create and come from home, you wanted to be a business leader. You did that Right. But then you mentioned it kind of grew into more Was that part of your why? or did that become uh, clearer vision as to, oh yeah, i do want to do that?

Speaker 1: 8:18

as it progressed, You know what's so funny about that question And I usually share this and I totally overlooked it. So when I sat down that day and wrote out in great detail what I wanted my life to look like And I started noodling ideas about being an entrepreneur, i had no idea what I wanted to do, rick, but I had some ideas, right. So I wrote that I might be a marketing consultant, because my background at that point was in advertising and marketing, so I thought I'd just be a consultant. Um, i wrote that I wanted to be working with a lot of female leaders. I wrote question marks around, maybe in a company that's in skincare or health and wellness.

Speaker 1: 8:53

Now, this was way before I even heard about our bond. Right, just noodling ideas, but out of my head for the first time ever. Probably on the last line of that piece of paper, i wrote that someday I wanted to be a speaker and a trainer on vision and goal setting. So God planted the seed that day, knowing that was what was coming in my life. Right, and so that was the vision. I knew when I went into being an entrepreneur that I wanted to make money and make an impact, but I also knew that I wanted to do it in a bigger way bigger stages, bigger platforms. This was way before podcasting.

Speaker 2: 9:32

Right.

Speaker 1: 9:33

Now I've been on several. And have grown, And have grown yeah, so yeah, it's always been the bigger vision And, to be honest with you, i love speaking, probably more than anything else I do. I love it. Just prop me up on a stage, give me a microphone and an audience and I am super happy there.

Speaker 2: 9:51

Did you know that when you sat down and wrote that stuff down on that legal pad, or did you discover that along the way?

Speaker 1: 9:57

Not really To be honest with you. No, not really. I'd never really spoken in front of groups of people, and that all started happening when I started moving up the ranks of Arbonne, Started running my own meetings and started doing bigger presentations, and then we would do big trainings, and so I just kind of gravitated there and I loved it.

Speaker 2: 10:17

It's interesting to hear your story about the fact that that was the last line of what you wrote down. I would assume you present this to your guests as well, but what I see there just again as a coach so who's pushing people is complete, every detail. when you're writing down your why, when you're really trying to journal out or empty out your mind of what's truly there at the core because sometimes you have to work through all the stuff you've heard other people say about you or what you're good at, versus then getting down to what's really in your heart And it's so cool to hear that the last line ends up being the part that is what's most fulfilling for you right now.

Speaker 1: 10:58

And that's just like you said. You and I, as coaches that is our job is to help people read between the lines. So, as really good coaches, i can hear I won't coach anybody until they have taken a shot at writing out their three year vision for me, because I can't help them create a game plan unless I know what the vision is of where they wanna go and what they want their life to look like. And a lot of times when they write it out they get really stuck, they get very emotional and they think that the reasons they're not going after their dreams are XYZ right. But I can kind of see between that it's really more than that.

Speaker 2: 11:38

Right.

Speaker 1: 11:39

And kind of pull that out of them and help them deal with those things.

Speaker 2: 11:43

Yeah, and that's part of it. Right Is that we can shine a light in the corner that they don't wanna look in.

Speaker 1: 11:51

Right in a very loving way.

Speaker 2: 11:53

Well, of course, yes, in a very loving way. But the reality is the answer is always, within the client, correct, And we help them find it because sometimes, for whatever reason, they want to overlook it or not believe it or have been told so many times in their past it's not real or true or anything like that. Right, no, that's really cool. That's really cool. I appreciate that you know and you recognize your growth and your path to where you are today in that.

Speaker 1: 12:18

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 12:19

Of course, the other side of your story too, then, is the tragedy that you have lived through twice, which is suicide being a part of your family.

Speaker 2: 12:29

One thing that I have in every single episode note and in every intro of this podcast is the 988 number to reach out for suicide prevention.

Speaker 2: 12:38

If you're feeling anything near that, you know, i know a fair amount of people who've had it be a part of their life one way or another. If you don't mind me asking for you and your journey being a surviving family member And I think this is an important story to share, because I see your path. I see I met you, obviously just a couple of years ago through ULA Right, and to know what you have been through, but seeing where you are now and how much you work to empower others, i just think it's important for people to see that Survivors, surviving family members of suicide, i think it's really important that they see your path as an opportunity, as perhaps not necessarily a blueprint for them, because everybody's different, but just to understand that you can go through that and come out the other side with vision and with direction. Do you mind sharing a little more of that experience with my audience? as far as what you went through with your family.

Speaker 1: 13:37

Oh well, you know it's number one and most people will tell you, in our case we never saw it coming. So when the day my husband passed, you know it was just a complete shock. We knew he was struggling specifically with some transitions that was going on in his career And, you know, he just had not been himself. But I'd never in a million years thought that he would take that step. And so when all that happened, it became very surreal for a long time. It was in the midst of a time where my son had just graduated from college, two months prior to my husband's death, and we lived in Colorado. My husband and I were from Colorado, we raised our kids there. My son had just gotten back from a five week graduation trip that he had taken with his buddies and he had already accepted a job to work for Channel 12 in Arizona. So once we got through the Memorial and all the things and got my daughter back to college because she was starting her junior year I got my son to Arizona so that he could start his job and I started living half time in Arizona, half time in Denver.

Speaker 1: 14:53

So the next two years was just a blur, because this is when my year long masterminds that I told you about that. I was running four of them all at once. It was during that time, wow, in the midst of all of that, my business, my coaching business, took off. So I ran with it And it was a godsend for me truly during that time. And then when my son died, another shock, just completely. You know, my daughter and I just got through all that, got through his Memorial And I actually ended up kind of going. I didn't totally disappear, but I kind of went underground for about a year. I was still. I still finished out my coaching commitments that I had already Rick, because I had some people still in the year long program that I need to finish up. But I stopped getting myself out there to bring in more clients just so that I could figure out how I was going to move through all that Started.

Speaker 1: 15:54

You know, my daughter went through counseling. I tried counseling for a while. It did not, wasn't working for me, so I really went within. I did a lot of quiet time right, and during that time what also helped me is I had some people. This might go in a totally different direction here, but I had some people show up in my life just randomly, that are what I call super high-intuitive people that could send me messages from my angels, right, whatever you want to believe. That really gave me a lot of peace. So I made a lot on God, a lot on my faith and a lot on just knowing that they're really still here. This mission I'm on right now it's all fueled by them. So there's so much.

Speaker 2: 16:47

I want to ask you And I appreciate you, I appreciate you opening up and sharing people coming to you with the intuitive side of the story And people coming to you with the intuitive side of things and the spiritual side of it, because I believe that's an important component that often we all shy away from because we're concerned about what that might look like for others, And I love that part of the human experience. I believe we're very much spiritual beings having a human experience And so when we talk about this stuff, I invite it and open it with all my heart And I want to get there. I want to talk about that. But let's step back just a little bit.

Speaker 2: 17:25

You had mentioned when your husband passed, you were so just in everything your coaching business took up. all that Was that your self-care was to dive into your work, or was there other aspects in working through the process of having just lost your husband? And I ask more for other listeners out there that may be going through something similar or have experienced something similar, as far as everyone has their own process, Everyone has their own thing that works for them. But I'm just curious was that therapeutic for you there to have that work to focus on? or was there something else you were working on too, with that work, keeping you focused but then other parts to help you heal?

Speaker 1: 18:02

You know, a lot of people begged me to slow down. A couple people said to me please don't make any major decisions for at least the first year, which is a piece of advice I think a lot of people give, and for some people I think that's really true In hindsight now. Well, you can't go back, right, you can't change Right?

Speaker 2: 18:26

of course No, but you can learn. But you can learn You can.

Speaker 1: 18:29

I wouldn't change anything that I did, let's put it this way. But I did make some major changes in my life in that first year. Okay, i moved to Arizona. I bought a house there because I loved Arizona, sold my house in Colorado one year after my husband passed and bought a condo and a high-rise there because I thought at that point the kids and I were still going to want to go back to Denver for periods of time, and later sold that condo because, after my son passed, my daughter and I were like we're not going back. So it was just, i think, what it was for me. I was having so much fun doing it, rick, that it was my piece in the storm.

Speaker 2: 19:17

Mm-hmm, makes sense Yeah.

Speaker 1: 19:20

I was meeting a lot of really fun people. I was involved in a huge networking group that I had created in Denver with three other very good friends of mine. We were traveling together and that was fun. I leaned on them heavily during that time. So yeah, it just. I'm not giving anybody advice on how to handle what they need to do. I did what felt right for me at the time, absolutely yeah.

Speaker 2: 19:43

And that's what I want to hear really, because recognizing that everyone has their own path, but sometimes, when we hear someone else's story, we can reflect on how it might be appropriate or relatable to us and our needs. So that's what I'm asking. Yeah, not asking for advice, asking for just the story.

Speaker 1: 20:00

So the book that my daughter and I wrote is called Keep Looking Up, And in it we tell our story, but we share 11 chapters of things that we learned that helped us get through the process. And we wrote that because we had so many people and still do come to us saying that they were struggling through something not necessarily a loss like we've been through, but something and wondered what helped us Mostly. We had a lot of people come to us saying, hey, I've got somebody right now that is going through something really challenging and I don't know how to help them. And so we wrote 11 chapters on all the things that we learned in the journey that helped us, in hopes that it would be a tool for people to be able to use for themselves and for their friends.

Speaker 2: 20:45

Yeah, it makes sense, makes, sense.

Speaker 1: 20:47

Yeah, And one of the things we wrote was it's so interesting. so many people, you know, when you go through loss, they want to know how to help you. They want to help so badly. And a lot of times, when people do want to help somebody, what they'll do is they'll help somebody in the way that they would want to be helped, not necessarily how that person wants to be helped.

Speaker 2: 21:09

Yeah, yeah, well, that makes, yeah, makes sense.

Speaker 1: 21:11

So you know, normal thing when you lose a family member is people want to bring you food, lots and lots of food, and from the get-go I told everybody please do not bring me food, please do not bring me food, please do not bring me food. Because what ends up happening is you end up getting all this food that you end up either tossing or you've got to give back, or you know it's just. It becomes a thing.

Speaker 2: 21:36

It becomes a chore to deal with.

Speaker 1: 21:38

Yeah, so when my son passed, when he worked for Channel 12, he got really close to all the anchors on the news station and everybody there. He was like a light in that building. They brought us $500 worth of food gift cards for restaurants in Arizona And I had a house full of people during that time. A lot of colds. Friends came and stayed And so it was great because every night they could just take a gift card, order the food it'd be delivered. We'd be done with it, you know it's just about that.

Speaker 1: 22:10

Yeah, it makes sense We also did not want a lot of people sitting around with us, hugging us and crying and you know, just not our way, but a lot of people, that's what they want. We just needed space. So, yeah, we just we learned a lot and still do, we're still learning.

Speaker 2: 22:26

Of course, of course, yeah, so you've go through both of those experiences. Obviously, just going through one could be enough to throw someone completely back on their heels, and you mentioned then, when you were sharing the story earlier, that there were intuitive folks coming into your life more on the spiritual side of things. Did you seek that out, or was it more just a coincidence of the higher power making it happen?

Speaker 1: 22:50

It was not. I did not seek it out, It was all God and them Can you share a little bit more.

Speaker 1: 22:57

Yeah. So I think the first time was about six months after my son passed. I have a friend in Arizona who is very, very spiritually connected. She does soul charts for people, if you know what those are, and she came to me and said Hey, i have this friend who is a medium, highly intelligent woman And she's wanting to do like a workshop on the predictions she has for the next seven years. And I'm like I don't care whatever. And I said Well, i have a really nice club house in my apartment building. If you want to go, look at that, it might be a really great place. So we went and looked at it. She said, yeah, this is great. She said, well, set it up for a Sunday afternoon. I don't know if anybody's going to come, but we'll just do it. And I said, okay, great, well, because this woman is so connected in Arizona.

Speaker 1: 23:44

There was like 50 people who showed up that afternoon. Wow, and the woman who was conducting this thing was giving her. She used to like do consulting for, like army, you know, major people like in the government and in a military, because she's that intuitive about what's coming. She was giving a lot of predictions And I was just kind of sitting in the back of the room going, okay, you know, this is great. And after the room had all cleared out, she came up to me and said How are you still standing?

Speaker 2: 24:18

Take the time you need. Sorry, don't be sorry. It's part of the human experience.

Speaker 1: 24:29

Yeah, she said. I looked at my friend who had brought this woman. I said What? what have you told her? She said I haven't told her much at all.

Speaker 1: 24:39

But this woman apparently just started telling me all these things about my son that nobody could have known And my husband, but a lot of. my son. my son, i believe, has had the gift of being super connected to the other side. He used to tell me all the time that he could feel his dad. So anyway, that was the first time where she just said you know all these things about where he was and what he wanted me to know and what really happened. And then it was just so. it was just stuff like that. I started really seeking her out And then I started learning more about it. Really good book that I read about six months ago called Signs by another very, very well known medium Her name is Laurel and Jackson. I'm talking a lot about how we can connect to them on the other side and ask for signs. So I've just been a random like networking events where somebody will come up to me and say, hey, just want you to know your son's here, like yes, i know.

Speaker 2: 26:00

I was about to ask you what's that feel like. Like you know, is it like a punch to the gut to have that come up in the middle of something like that, or is it more like? no, i know he's here.

Speaker 1: 26:07

Yeah, in the beginning I think it really shocked me, but the more that it kept happening, it just I know he's here, Like I said, he's fueling this, this mission. I'm on now for young adults, right, but you know, for them to just describe him, and, oh my gosh, i was on a radio show one day.

Speaker 1: 26:29

I can't even tell this story Sucker punched me The middle of a live radio broadcast, the woman producing the show I was being interviewed by a mother and a daughter who the mother had lost her son to suicide many, many years ago. We weren't talking about that. We were talking about vision, work and purpose and what I do. And the producer behind the scenes just all of a sudden stops the radio broadcast and goes Okay, who here is sissy And the mother, daughter like each other. No, we've never used that. I said we call my daughter sissy And she said there is a young man in my head that will not let me stop saying please tell sissy, i'm sorry.

Speaker 2: 27:16

Oh yeah, oh goodness, wow, yeah. And how in the world did you recover from that moment? Because, like right now, i'm feeling it too Yeah.

Speaker 1: 27:34

I think I don't know that I cried. I think I just froze because I didn't know what to do next.

Speaker 2: 27:41

Right.

Speaker 1: 27:43

And so it was just a surreal moment. And so, when I left there the next day, the daughter of this mother daughter team, who's a friend of mine, called me, and she said so. My producer wanted me to reach out to you to say that she thinks it had to do something with your daughter's wedding. And I said, yeah, he was supposed to walk her down the aisle. Oh man, i'm a mess.

Speaker 2: 28:14

I appreciate you sharing, though I really do. I appreciate you so much because this is powerful, you know, obviously for you, but I think these are stories that are important to share And, like I said before when you first brought up the spiritual side of it, i think a lot of us in our culture right now need more of this connection and this understanding, and I think there's a certain part of our culture that is very, i don't know, shy of it or concerned of its power, or I don't want to admit it, but the more people you talk to, everyone has it. There's that connection and these moments happen. It's very much a part of our lives. So I appreciate you sharing that. I know that wasn't easy and probably not where you thought this was going to go today. Not at all Not at all, but.

Speaker 2: 29:09

I really appreciate it because I think it's an important element also to bring it back into what you and I find as our calling, which is that making a difference in the world, that supporting other people, that bringing our experiences and living through our experiences allows us to show up and do what we do. And I love the fact that you acknowledge that what you're doing now, your work with young adults, is fueled by the spiritual impact. You know that your husband and your son have with them on the other side and you hear in the physical plane doing what you're doing, and your daughter as well. If you don't mind me asking, what was the process in which you can start acknowledging that Here you are now, doing it and you can say this I definitely feel it. But what was the process that brought you to where you are now with the coaching and the work you're doing with young adults, knowing that it was fueled in part by your husband and your son?

Speaker 1: 30:09

You know, it's been almost well, almost six years now since my son passed, and I've been saying this for probably five years and it's just now where I'm stepping all into it, And I think it's a combination of reasons. One the reason I think it took me so long was I still had a lot of attachment to coaching, and it took me a long time to let that go, rick, for a lot of reasons. It's what I know to do, it's what I knew to monetize. There was a lot of piece by piece. I had to let go of a lot of stuff before I could really just now say, okay, i'm all in on this. The other piece of this is Oula, because now what I want to do is bring people, young adults, into communities, and I'm going to power that with Oula as the foundation. So Dr Dave and I, the co-founder of Oula, have been talking about what that would look like. So now I have where I'm not doing it alone and I have places to send them, to give them tools to use.

Speaker 2: 31:20

Well, yeah, the community that Oula offers is so powerful. Yeah, so it makes complete sense.

Speaker 1: 31:26

Yeah, And this is their heart too young adults and kids. They just have not been able to focus on that because of everything else they've been putting into place the past few years.

Speaker 2: 31:36

Right, a lot of building lately.

Speaker 1: 31:37

So I'm kind of leading that community, so I'm excited about it and we're just going to see how it unfolds.

Speaker 2: 31:45

Right, right, i want to go back real quick through the process now of what you're letting go of, what you're restructuring for yourself in the direction you're going and acknowledging that you feel somewhat guided. What was that process for you to acknowledge that guidance? And the reason I ask is I think a lot of times we get inclinations or feelings on certain things or we feel that tingle or that warmth, but then we're like, oh, it was just a coincidence, or oh, what's in front of us? or ego, if you will.

Speaker 1: 32:18

Right.

Speaker 2: 32:19

Speaks up louder. It's no, no, no, to ignore that. That's not the right thing to do. It sounds like to me like you are really following the intuition and the connections that you feel. Can you explain that, what that process has been like for you?

Speaker 1: 32:32

Yeah, i'm going to mention another woman that came into my life that I want to refer people to. Her name is Sue Frederick. She's written many, many books. One of my favorites is called Bridges to Heaven And she is somebody who does numerology and also can connect to the other side.

Speaker 1: 32:52

Rand thing sitting in a networking group, she's the speaker that day and she's talking about numerology and how she does your birth numbers and can define to you what your mission is, why you're here, the connection to the other people that were in your life, like my son coming through me as his mom, right. And it wasn't too long after my son had passed that she came and did this thing And again all the rooms cleared out and I'm the last one there and she sits me down and says I want to do your numbers and did my birthday and then also did my sons and it was just hair raising And it was just stuff. You know when people say something to you and you can feel it so deep in your soul that you just knew it and knew it and knew it.

Speaker 2: 33:38

Yep.

Speaker 1: 33:38

Right Everything she said to me and about my son, I knew I just had to take it from here and let it get here.

Speaker 2: 33:46

Right.

Speaker 1: 33:47

And so she's the first person after this random woman that did that workshop. I told you about that. I actually paid her for an hour of her time to connect to my son and my husband on the other side and bring messages to me about what my path is now. And this was three years ago, the first reading she did for me. So I started really opening up to that and started seeking her out and started the second thing, the second resource I want to tell people about, is two summers ago. Sue introduces me to this woman, elizabeth, and Elizabeth has created an organization. She's also in Arizona, but it's tens of thousands of members around the world called Helping Parents Heal, and it's all parents who have lost children for multiple reasons and multiple ages and all the things.

Speaker 1: 34:34

And I connected with this woman three weeks before their big conference. they do every other year in Arizona And I said I really want to be at your conference. She said we would love to have you but we'd have no room. It's totally sold out. the hotel is sold out, no room for speakers, whatever. I said, all right, well, i'll have to wait for the next one And they only do it every two years. She called me back the next day and she said we have a ticket for you. I was like, okay, but we don't have a room in the hotel. I said, no problem, i'll find some place to stay. She calls me the next day. We have a room for you.

Speaker 2: 35:07

Of course.

Speaker 1: 35:09

And it was just. There was 900 people at this thing, rick, and it was all parents who have lost their kids that, like me, are learning how to connect to them, and there were. Most of the speakers were highly intuitive, some science-based, talking about the science and the spiritual, how they're bringing it together, which is very exciting, and mediums bringing messages and letting us know our kids were all there, all together. They were thrilled that we were together, wanting to connect to them. Yeah, it was just so peaceful when you're in a room like that.

Speaker 2: 35:50

I can imagine. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2: 35:53

I don't know if I answered your question, but The original question was asking for your process to acknowledge the spiritual connections that were created that now bring you to where you are working for young adults going. I know there is. It's not just my own passion, it's my purpose, but there's also a deeper connection on the spiritual side that is acknowledging this or is saying, yes, green light go, yes. So yeah, the question was kind of how is the process of getting there? Because so often I think people get intuition speaking to them but their ego prevents them from following through or talks them out of listening to it.

Speaker 2: 36:28

For some, reason, so I was just curious as to how you bridged that, because I think for a lot of people they may have that instinct but then they lose sight of it because, like, oh, no, no, no, just background noise.

Speaker 1: 36:40

Well, i was the queen of that land, i was the you know I would have been. You know, before all this happened, i would have been the person going pfft, whatever, that's not real stuff. My husband would have thought I was absolutely crazy, but I do believe in hindsight, now that I've tapped into this, that I think my son was also very intuitive and just didn't want to let us in on that because of fear of what he thought we would think.

Speaker 2: 37:12

Well, of course, yeah, right, yeah especially if your instincts were telling you that your husband would have thought you're crazy. That I'm sure he would have. He had those ideas that perhaps you know. The adults of my life would think poorly of me if I spoke to them about what I was experiencing.

Speaker 1: 37:25

Well, and that's not what we're taught in this culture either. Rick, we're taught, you know, okay, that's fine for everybody else, whatever, let them go over here and do the Rulu stuff, but we do the nine to five gig, you know get the job, have the income, the title, all the things, and we kind of squelch any thought around. yeah, i really also know that I think both my husband and my son, if given different messaging, would have gone different paths with their careers.

Speaker 2: 37:58

Interesting, interesting.

Speaker 1: 38:00

And I think that's very common, especially for men in our world.

Speaker 2: 38:03

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 38:04

Right, the cute idea that you want to think about that, but here's what you're going to do.

Speaker 2: 38:13

Right.

Speaker 1: 38:14

You're going to get the job, get the career, get the family, take care of them and to get that kind of thing. And I think that's why so many of us don't listen to what's really our intuition, our gut, what our gut is telling us. And it's taken me, like I said, five years of really nine years, but most specifically the past five, where I've really just had to surrender a little bit at a time, and it's a challenge because I'm still an A-type doer.

Speaker 2: 38:41

Right.

Speaker 1: 38:42

Yeah, it's hard for me to take a day and just go. you know I'm just going to sit in this for today and see what God does with it Really challenge.

Speaker 2: 38:53

Well, it's a process, it's a learning. I think you know as a coach it's easy to look at a client and go yeah, sometimes you need a day to just sit in it, right, but for yourself it's kind of hard to go. Oh, i put the things I got to do.

Speaker 1: 39:03

Right, right. You know, especially with social media now, you know it's so, so much pressure on being plugged in and you know having a following and you know it's just. I find myself on it way too much as a speaker and a coach And I really have to back away from it because it's just, it puts a lot of pressure, especially when you see speakers in our world. They make it look like they're like crushing it, right.

Speaker 2: 39:33

Right.

Speaker 1: 39:34

And if you're not, there can be some serious comparison going on. But I've also learned that most of them are not crushing it Right, It's a front to good act, yeah.

Speaker 2: 39:47

Marketing, yes, yeah.

Speaker 1: 39:50

So it's a balance, rick. I balanced the doing with the waiting, the doing, and then, you know, I put out what I'm asking for, and then I've learned to just kind of wait, because God always does it way better than I would have done it.

Speaker 2: 40:05

Of course, of course, yeah, so with your story now and we've shared this with the audience what you've been through, your experiences and where you are now with really focused on the young adult side of things you still do speaking and key network and coaching. No, is that correct?

Speaker 1: 40:21

Yes, I don't market the coaching as much as I used to, but if I have somebody come to me and say I need you because of your experiences your life experiences, your business experience, whatever right I will take on a client if I feel like it's absolutely a godsend and it's the right fit, right.

Speaker 1: 40:42

Speaking I want to do way more of it. Like I said, it's my favorite thing to do And I'm going to shift into really reaching out into where young adults are, colleges and go in that direction, not solely, but I really want to focus on that and then continue to build that community, like I said, with bringing them into. We don't know the complete structure of it yet, Rick, We're working on that part of it. We're working on that part. But maybe giving them two monthly calls where we talk on a subject, Maybe around the F's and OOLA right, Something on finance, on family, I'm going to be figuring out with them what they want and how they want it.

Speaker 2: 41:24

Yeah, that'll. You got to listen to the client, right.

Speaker 1: 41:25

Right, exactly.

Speaker 2: 41:28

So, as you're growing this, if somebody who's listening now either has a young adult in their life that, like you know, i think this would be good for them, or they are themselves a young adult thinking, oh, this sounds like something I need to be a part of. Where can they find you? Where can people go to find out more information on this and connect with you?

Speaker 1: 41:46

Yeah, so my website is just my name, carrieconleycom. There's information on there about my podcast and how to reach out to me, how to get on my weekly newsletter, my email that goes out and my email is just Carrie at CarrieConleycom.

Speaker 2: 42:00

Excellent, excellent. Well, we will make sure that all of that connective information how to get a hold of you is in the episode notes, of course. One thing that I like to always ask my guests is we're starting to wrap up. If there was a quote or a meme or like a definitely just that nugget of information you would love to drop for everybody, what would that be for you? What would you offer up?

Speaker 1: 42:27

There's a quote that I love, and I never get this completely right, but you'll get the gist of it. It's by Andy Stanley And it is write your vision in pen, but your path in pencil. And what he means by that is that I am very clear that my vision is my God given purpose. So that has not changed. even with all the things in my life changing in a direction that I never saw coming. my vision has just been inked in even harder, if that makes sense.

Speaker 2: 42:57

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 42:58

But the path it's a pencil. So I just want to encourage people because a lot of times when I ask them to write a vision for me and I ask them to think three years out so that we've got a timeline, a lot of people have never done that and they're afraid to do that because you know what if something happens like it happened to me And I just want to encourage people to not be afraid of it You've got to write your vision out on paper because if not, you're just kind of living the someday mentality and a lot of people die with regret that way.

Speaker 2: 43:27

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 43:28

So love that quote.

Speaker 2: 43:30

That's a great one, and I love how that also falls into. I mean, i don't know, did you find that quote before you wrote down your stuff on that legal pad, or is that after, because it fits so perfectly with your story?

Speaker 1: 43:45

I know, you know, I didn't even hear that quote until maybe two years ago.

Speaker 2: 43:48

Oh, I love it.

Speaker 1: 43:49

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 43:51

Talk about being affirmed in the way you have lived your life, where that quote just like locks it in for you.

Speaker 1: 43:56

Yes, Confirmations, I get them all the time because I ask am I on the right path? Am I doing the right thing? If I'm not, take me off, give me a sign. But I usually get confirmations. Keep going.

Speaker 2: 44:09

That's awesome. Yeah, that's awesome. And the beauty of that quote too, i think, points out what a lot of people, what might be in the fear of a lot of people when you ask them to write out that three-year vision, is it? well, if I write it out, then I have to do it exactly like this The reality is that the path is going to zigzag all over the place, but as long as you are locked in on what the true vision of your core is, that you can let that path zigzag all over, as long as you stay focused on that big value and that big vision.

Speaker 1: 44:41

And to give it time. You know when I wrote that vision, when I was 28, i was married, but we had not started a family yet, and so when I wrote that, we didn't even start having kids, i think until the next year, and then we had our son And I was still working full time, and then I got pregnant with my daughter a year and a half later, and it wasn't until then that the thing I'd been asking for which was my path using the R bond to be able to stay home with my kids showed up. So people need to know that the vision is there. You just have to wait for it to show up. But the minute it did, it was like bam. I knew it Because it checked all the boxes right.

Speaker 2: 45:21

Right. That's part of the need, for that is that you can reflect back. Is this, it Right? And the answer is if the boxes are checked, then move forward. Move now.

Speaker 1: 45:30

Right.

Speaker 2: 45:31

Right, still do it. I love it, i love it, i love it, i love it. Carrie, is there anything else you would like to share with the audience that we didn't touch on today?

Speaker 1: 45:39

I told you I was going to share a gift with your audience, and that is the first book that I wrote as a workbook. It's called Vision is Victory, and it walks people through how to get their vision and writing, and so you can buy it on Amazon, but I want to give you a link that I know you'll share in the notes that they can download the ebook version for free.

Speaker 2: 45:57

Perfect, wow, thank you. You're welcome. That's wonderful, thank you, thank you, and for everyone listening head down into the notes of the episode, we'll have that link along with How to Get a Hold of Carrie, and I'll also link to the books you mentioned from the other authors as well that seem to be so powerful for you. I appreciate you sharing all of that. Again, carrie, thank you so much. I know we kind of went all over with this interview, but I think your story is so important to be shared And what you offer as a coach, the direction you're going, it's just so wonderful And honestly, i think we might even end up doing a follow-up interview with you, just because there's so much more to unpack. I think I would love to talk more in depth about some of this stuff.

Speaker 2: 46:37

Well, i just enjoy having conversations with you, so Yeah, well, we'll see what we can do before the season ends. Maybe get you on one more time.

Speaker 1: 46:44

We'd love it and we'd love to reciprocate.

Speaker 2: 46:46

Of course, of course, yes, yeah. and, by the way, your podcast name again is Moving Through and Beyond. And we'll link that down below as well. All right, well, Carrie, thank you so much for being here. I really do appreciate it.

Speaker 1: 46:58

No, I appreciate you, Rick. Thank you.

Speaker 2: 47:01

And thank you, my dear listeners, for being here. I appreciate you tremendously. This podcast has the impact and reach it has because of you, because you keep tuning in, you've subscribed, you're sharing, and I can't thank you enough. This podcast continues to grow because of you. If you haven't subscribed yet, be sure to do so. More great guests are coming up, like Carrie and many others.

Speaker 2: 47:20

And, of course, if you want to reach out to me, you can find more information about me or my coaching at coachrickschwardscom. There you'll also find links to my social media or on just about any social media platform. You can search Coach Rick Schwartz and I'll pop up. You'll probably find me there. If you are interested to learn more about coaching, you can sign up for a free discovery. call on my website 30-minute conversation between you and I. We do a little Zoom. We talk about what's going on in your life. We talk about my coaching styles. If we both agree, it's a fit. well then, hey, we move forward from there. If not, no big deal. Either way, it's a good conversation. That's going to wrap it up for this episode. Thanks again for listening. I really do appreciate it. Have a good one, everybody. MUSIC.