Embracing Serenity: Navigating Life's Challenges with Wisdom and Courage

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Ever feel overwhelmed by life's constant barrage of challenges? What if there was a simple, timeless piece of wisdom to help you navigate these obstacles? In this thought-provoking episode, we explore the power of the Serenity Prayer - a prayer, a mantra something to ponder - that can help us accept what we cannot change, find courage to change what we can, and gain the wisdom to know the difference.

Discover how setting boundaries, seeking guidance from trusted sources, and journaling can help us gain clarity and control in our lives. We share tips on how to take action steps towards our goals and discuss the importance of understanding what's within our power to change.

As always, thank you for listening to We All Have Something.  If you wish to connect with Rick beyond the podcast:
Website: www.CoachRickSchwartz.com
YouTube: @RickSchwartz
Instagram: @Coach_Rick_Schwartz
Facebook Page:  @CoachRickSchwartz
TikTok: @Coach_Rick_Schwartz

***If you are having any thoughts of self harm and need someone to reach out to please call: 1-800-273- TALK (8255)
Or use the new 988 number for calling or texting for support.


Episode Music "Inspiration Corporate" by Sandra Inspiration Music
Music rights purchased through AudioJungle.

Nothing in this podcast should be taken as therapy, medical or mental health care. Topics discussed on this podcast reflect the personal experiences of the host and guests of We All Have Something and are not intended to, nor should they, replace the services of medical care, mental health care or therapy.

If you are having thoughts of self harm or ending your life, please call or text 988 - Help is available 24/7.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:23

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference".

Speaker 1: 0:35

That quote is actually referred to as a serenity prayer. There are a lot of different versions of this. When you look up the serenity prayer type in some of it, you get a lot of different versions. I mean, there's been countless memes and everything else going around. It's the Internet in modern day. There are even versions that Alcoholics Anonymous has adopted as a way to help people through what they need to go through in their 12-step program. Regardless of if you have heard it or not, where or where not, or whom or whom isn't using it.

Speaker 1: 1:04

It's today's topic. I'm Rick Schwartz, life coach, public speaker and all-around curious guy. My curiosity, my life and the lives of the many people I have worked with have taught me time and time again that there are challenges to overcome and successes to celebrate. You're listening to. We All Have Something a podcast about the human experience, a podcast about celebrating our authentic self. So let's get started, regardless of your religious beliefs or not, your spiritual beliefs or not. I'm not here to push upon you what I believe or question what you believe, but I do believe this. I do believe this is a very powerful statement And, yes, the first word is God, and if that's not your thing, please just add in whatever is meaningful and powerful to you. But, god, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. Let's break this down And the reason I want to do this. Let me actually hold up. Let me stop for a second. The reason this is top of mind for me.

Speaker 1: 2:10

I did a video for it for my YouTube channel. Yes, i'm trying to bring that back And see, it's been dormant for quite a long time. You've got a little email from YouTube going hey, you still alive. But that's not the point. The point is the last goodness. Let me think now. This is mid June, right now when this comes out. So I would say it's fair to say the last month and a half has been quite the month and a half for me And leading into it I knew some of it was going to be busy and crazy, but it just seems like one thing after another and new things, and it has been a very interesting six to seven weeks, to say the least, and I'm not saying that my life or anyone else's life is special or different in that way. We all have stuff. I mean hello, it's the title of this podcast We all have something.

Speaker 1: 2:59

But with everything that was going on, all the different challenges that were popping up, i was reminded of the importance of reflecting, stopping instead of just reacting, but stopping so I could respond properly and really start to categorize things into what can I actually change with my behavior and actions and activity? What things do I pour energy into that can change the situation to be more appropriate or better Versus? what are the things that I would like to change? But I have to accept that there's nothing I can do to change the situation. So I need to adapt, i need to roll with it, i need to accept it. And then, on the other side of that, when I have figured out what are the things I do have the ability to change, can I step into the courage, can I muster up the courage to actually make that move, to do what needs to be done, so I can change things for the direction they need to go, for the better, whatever it might be. And then the last part too, of course, is asking for or hoping for, or sitting with the idea to have the wisdom, to know the difference, to have the wisdom of what I actually have control over versus what I cannot possibly change.

Speaker 1: 4:21

And this thought process for me, and the reason I wanted I did a video about it, the reason I wanna do it here on the podcast, is I find value in stopping and thinking, which I know that seems like well no duh, rick. That obviously would be the case. But we are inundated constantly with information. We are inundated constantly with messages from work, emails from work, from loved ones, from family members, from all over the place, all times of day. And I will say this I've learned to set boundaries up. I don't allow my work phone to be near me in the evening times. You know, at night My personal phone is set to go to sleep at certain times, so I do not disturb, if you will.

Speaker 1: 5:03

But even with those things in place, life has a way to come at us very quickly. Our problems aren't unique to today only. You go back 20, 30, 40, 50 years. You go back to your grandparents era. They had stresses, they had anxiety, they had stuff coming up. This serenity prayer didn't just show up in memes when Facebook was invented. It's been around a lot longer. Sure, it's more popular now because of memes at Facebook and Instagram and everything else. But come on, let's be honest. That prayer has been around for a long time. People have been using it for a long time.

Speaker 1: 5:35

Those words are powerful. They mean something. Someone wrote those words because they were needed and they stuck around because guess what? humans have a way of living that words like that have power to remind us about how we can and cannot exist, or I shouldn't say can and cannot, how we should and should not exist.

Speaker 1: 5:56

The value, of course, in being able to recognize what you can and cannot have control over, which, honestly, you start really asking a deep questions. You realize the only thing you have control over is yourself. How do you spend your time? How do you respond to things or react to things? How is it that you interact with other people? You can't control other people. Therefore, your control is very limited.

Speaker 1: 6:18

Honestly, now, i do know a lot of people who try to control other people. There's manipulation, there's gaslighting, there's all this stuff out there that people are trying to do, but the reality is they can elicit a response or a reaction from you, but the reality is it's you that gets to choose how you do that And like oh, but that's not true. Man, rick, this guy can really push my buttons. He or she says all these things and he gets me angry, and they know he gets me angry and I just can't help myself. I mean, i think perhaps you have allowed yourself to believe that. You've allowed yourself to believe that you're gonna have your buttons pushed and you have no control over that. I would be more than happy to discuss with somebody one on one, the process of not allowing your buttons to be pushed, especially if you know that person knows how to quote unquote push your buttons and push you into that space. And please understand this if you are in an abusive relationship or a relationship where you're being controlled heavily and you're listening to this going, you know, okay, well, rick says I can have control of this. That's a bit deeper level. Yes, you can still do things to walk away from those relationships, but I know it's a lot harder and there's an emotional manipulation in there as well. I'm not saying it's like all you gotta do is just think about it and you're fine. The truth of the matter is I recognize there are different levels and scenarios that might play out for each of us, but, on a surface level, having the ability to understand what we can and cannot control usually results in recognizing it's us We're the only ones we can control.

Speaker 1: 7:51

For those of you that are in extreme situations, i ask please reach out for help. Please go to local authority, someone you trust in your community or your family, to help you out of that situation And I know it's not easy. But please do that. Please try, please, for your sake, for your own heart, your own soul, please do that. And for those of you listening that aren't in that space but are having maybe some challenges with frustration, stress and anxiety and people doing things that get you mad in it, you carry it with you for the rest of the day.

Speaker 1: 8:22

A great example is something happens at work right, something happens at work, or something happens with somebody in your family and they say or do something that then that anger. It's like a bag of bricks and you've slung it over your shoulder and you're carrying with you all day. And the thing is is when you've got a bag of bricks slung over your shoulder and you're carrying it around all day, what happens. You get tired, you get sore, your back hurts and your hands are busy, so you can't do other things that you wanna do, at least not very well, and this unfortunately spills over to other parts of your life. You get home grumpy from work and your family needs help with something, but you can't because you're still carrying that bag of bricks. That's not cool.

Speaker 1: 8:57

When we can take a moment, though, to stop ourselves and really ask ourselves what can I control here? What can I not control? What do I need to learn to let go of, that's when we can start firing off that wisdom. That's when we can not just hope for the wisdom to discern between what we can and can't control, but we can start to engage with it. We can start asking ourselves those questions And please know this is a behavior not unlike working out or eating healthy. This is not. You just go to the vitamin shop or the nutrition store and you pick up vitamins and you take them once in the morning and you're good for the rest of the year. This isn't going to the gym and doing one aerobics class or one workout routine with a fitness instructor one time and then walking out going. I'm good for the year. I'm good.

Speaker 1: 9:47

The idea behind this mindfulness is idea behind sitting down and really trying to understand what it is you can and cannot control, and learning how to let go of the things you cannot, and having the courage to step up and do what you can with what you have and it's available to you. This is a practice like eating healthy, like working out, like setting your alarm early so you show up to work on time instead of late because of traffic. All this stuff is a practice. And I'll say this too I recognize you're busy, we're all very busy. You're trying to fit this podcast in between either doing a run or going to the gym or making food, or on the drive for your car, or on the drive in your car, excuse me. And so you're probably thinking back. And well, that's great, rick, but I don't have 10 minutes to sit and think about my life. Who has that? Take five minutes and take two minutes, but do this.

Speaker 1: 10:38

It is the same urgency as far as I'm concerned to do this as it is to, let's say, what would be the urgency if you're driving home and you really have to pee. Yeah, i said it, you're driving home and you really got to pee and you hit every single red light When you get home. Finally, is it? I don't really have time right now to go to the bathroom. I've got to start making dinner and I got to put this work stuff away and I got to go to this feed the dog. No, if you're driving home and you got to pee and you're hitting every red light and you really got to go, when you pull up, good luck, even turning off your car You're going to jump out and you're going to run straight to the bathroom. That kind of urgency. I challenge you to approach this concept of sitting and thinking about the challenges you're facing and start going down the list of what can and cannot be controlled with the same urgency that you got to pee really bad before you got home from work. I'm serious. I used to use smiling and you're laughing, thinking that's silly. But here's the deal.

Speaker 1: 11:33

We often talk about these things and how important they are, but we don't follow through with prioritizing them. And if you're like, well, you know, you told me last week to prioritize fitness and you told me a couple weeks before that I got to prioritize this and I should prioritize that. And you know, rick, you talk about balancing your life and fitness and finance and family and field and faith and friends and fun. How am I supposed to do all this? You know all this stuff adds up. I get it. I understand that it adds up, and that's where we start to talk about the need for action steps and planning out our action steps, that we're not doing all seven things all in the same day.

Speaker 1: 12:09

But I will offer this to you about the serenity, prayer and the concept about understanding what you can and cannot control. The wisdom to know the difference between those two comes in taking the time to think about them. I'll say this, i'll even add this on there Talk about them with someone trusted in your family, your friend circle, a coach, a therapist, someone in your community that you trust. Have that conversation. Wisdom comes from learning from experience and from others who have had the experience. So if your face was something right now that you've never experienced before, then it's time to have a conversation with somebody trusted in your life that either has that experience or knows of it. They can talk with you so that you can gain from their wisdom. That's really what it's about. Sharing and conversation and life experiences is how we share wisdom.

Speaker 1: 13:06

Again, you either gain wisdom from going through something, surviving the other side of it, or from someone who's already been through it. So if you're thinking, hey well, rick, this is all great, but I don't have anybody in my life I can talk to about this, or I don't have 10 minutes or five minutes to sit and think about this stuff, i would encourage you to sit down and journal. Then at least get these thoughts on paper. When we journal, there's all sorts of science behind writing stuff down on paper and saying it out loud and all that stuff that supports our ability to process better than just bouncing around in our head quietly. If you journal it out, sometimes the answer comes as you're writing it like okay, yeah, i see the honest answer to this now that I've written it out. A lot of that also happens when we're talking to somebody about it as well. So again, i encourage you find a trusted family member, a friend, someone in your community, a coach, whatever it may be, to start really working on these things, because when you get to the point that you can let go of the things that really you have no control over, you free up your time, your energy, your mind, your emotions.

Speaker 1: 14:12

It doesn't mean that those things won't upset you. It doesn't mean you can't have feelings around those things. You know, i think often people believe like, oh, if you're telling me to let it go, it just means poof, it's gone and I'm not supposed to think about it anymore. I don't think that's how it works. It's a process of letting go of something. It's a process to let's say an example forgive somebody for something. There's different levels of forgiving. As an example, there's different levels of letting go. Sometimes it is you just do it on your own and the other person doesn't even know that it happened. It's for you The idea of being able to let go of something again using forgiveness as an example.

Speaker 1: 14:51

For you know, forgiving someone for wronging you is that while you're harboring those emotions and feelings and you're festering over it and you're like I'm going to show them I'm going to be angry at them. It's the perfect old saying that goes around on social media. Sometimes, you know, being angry at someone for something and harboring that anger is like drinking poison and expecting them to get sick from it. They don't know you're angry or, if they do, perhaps they don't care. Otherwise they would have apologized and tried to make amends right. So it's up to you to not drink that poison, to let that go, and you start with acknowledging this is something I should let go. This is something I have no control over.

Speaker 1: 15:25

It makes me mad, i'm not happy about it, frustrates me. Why does it frustrate you? Why are you mad about it? Well, because they did this and it made me feel that way and I believed that they would be more respectful of me. Alright, that's a fair point, but they weren't. And now they weren't, and it makes me mad. Okay, why did you think they would treat you that way? Well, that's how I treat people. Okay, so your expectations are. The way you treat people is the way people will treat you. Well, we know people are different. There might have been a misunderstanding or just a difference in personalities, and we can kick this. Why game down? But this is really the sort of the process that I go through as a coach. We start asking these questions as to why, why and why, and once we start to really get to the answer As to where it is, it allows you to address really what's upsetting you and Understand what it is Perhaps you need to let go of and you might think well, that's great, but that's not very fair, that I'm the one that has to let go after someone has hurt me or done me wrong Or whatever happened at work.

Speaker 1: 16:23

It's true It may not be fair That someone wronged you in some way and now you're the one that has to let it go. But if there's truly nothing you can do about it to rectify it, to make it better, it's your choice to hold on to it and let that take up space in your life and in your heart, versus finding a way to heal and let go So you have room for other things that are much more important for you, for your life, for your family. For me personally, like I said, this all kind of came about because I've had one heck of a six to seven a week span here and as a coach You've heard me say it before I practice what I what I coach, but I still have to practice it. It doesn't come easily. It is an ongoing Activity of being mindful of how I want to live my life and catching myself in times where I'm not Meeting my expectations, where I'm not stepping up and walking the walk It's. It's not work per se, but it does take time and conscious thought and your life is worth it and I hope that's what you're getting from this podcast. I hope that's what you're getting from everything we talk about the people we interview on this podcast. Your life is worth it And I hope that this episode supports that for you. I hope you hear it, i hope you see it, i hope you feel it, that your life is worth it. The world's a better place with you here and that's why I do these, these podcasts. I want people to be able to improve on themselves when they want to, to help give ideas and thoughts, lessons, things to consider and ponder. Not every single thing's gonna sit perfectly with you. Not everything is for you that this podcast is about, and I get that. But for those that it is for, i'm glad you're here And I'm glad you're hearing it.

Speaker 1: 18:06

I'm gonna wrap up this podcast by saying thank you for being here, thank you for being an audience member, a listener. If you're a first-time listener, be sure to subscribe or do whatever it is that you Can keep listening to episodes on. Wherever you listen to your podcasts. I appreciate you being here. This is a listener supported podcast and I appreciate all of our supporters. We do have a new one this week, dana S. I appreciate you. Dana asked to only give her first name and last initial, not where she's from, but Dana, thank you for being a supporter. If you're interested in being a supporter, you can scroll down a little bit, or wherever you might listen to your podcast. There's a link there that just says become a supporter and you do a monthly donation. Monthly support Allows us to keep these ad free, like I had mentioned, and and hopefully expand to do more with this podcast.

Speaker 1: 18:50

Like I said before, i hope you found something of value in this. I know, if you're listening, it just has probably found you at the right time, at the right space, and there is something that you can think about and grow from. If, though, you think well, that's not for me, but I know somebody who could use this information feel free to share it by sharing this podcast. It's how we grow, it's how we make a difference in the world, and, of course, if you do subscribe, you're not gonna miss next week's episode or any other episodes for season 3 as we move through the season, and if you need more information about how to get in touch with me, simply go to my website coach rick schwarzcom all the links are down below for my social media, but also the website coach rick schwarzcom has my social media as well and also a way to set up a 30-minute free Discovery call, or a free 30-minute discovery call, however you want to say it.

Speaker 1: 19:31

Essentially, it's a zoom conversation between you and I. We talk about what's going on in your life, talk about my coaching style. If we feel it's a match, perfect, awesome, we'll go from there as coach and client. If we feel it's not a good match, no hard feelings, it really needs to be a good match. Before I step into coaching anybody, I want to make sure we're both in the same page and, like I said, if not no big deal, it's totally cool. I mean, you know it's a good 30-minute conversation either way. That's gonna wrap it up for this episode. Thanks again for listening. I really do appreciate it. Have a good one everybody.